The Bitter Pill To Swallow

 The past two years have been the hardest for all of us. We have suffered a lot, from physical to mental and spiritual health. Why is that? Have you ask yourself this? I have been wondering why we are being tested. The Coronary Virus Disease 2019 or (COVID-19), as we all know it. Today is the 19th day of January 2022. Have you noticed that it seems like 2020 and 2021 passed by so fast? 

Here I am, sitting in an office currently typing this blog post with pocketful of sunshines, bleakness, grief, sadness and a little bit of relief. I am relieved that I have survived two years of virus. I am into this age wherein I no longer have the eagerness to be surprised anymore. 

WHY? 

I am a warrior. 

A fighter, 

a survivor 

and 

a believer.

I have survived MARAWI SIEGE. I am no longer interested in anything that will amaze me, I find myself waking up everyday doing mundane things. I sleep around 10pm after praying and then find myself being awake at 3 to 4 am in the morning. I make myself useful by praying DHIKR (Praying to Allah). 

"SUBHANALLAH. ALHAMDULILLAH. ALLAHU AKBAR."

I pray my obligatory prayers as a Muslima. I drink lots of coffee. I write and read.

Let's go back to my BLOG POST'S TITLE. 

The Bitter Pill To Swallow?

 It's pride. 

Meranaws are very mala I "MARATABAT" or prideful, sometimes can be connotated into BOASTFUL.

I am a very patient person and I find myself being selfless, I realize some were being too lenient with me and abuse my kindness but they haven't met my STRANGE self --- The one that is a brave, strong and fight or flight self. I maybe adventurous, I maybe looking like a smiling-face girl but behind this face is a girl, who have grudges; the one who is determined and when I decide, I'll stick to it.

I am that girl who can stick to my CHOICE. If I believe, you are a WASTE OF TIME. I will leave you. 

I am that "MARANGIT" looking-girl. My eyes can either hold sadness, anger and happiness. Believe it or not, I'm very meticulous. I want everything to be in order. 

I am DISCIPLINED -- and I think that is what people lacks of. It's the discipline to keep quiet. 

I was raised with strict parents but with a heart, with a brave leadership from my Dad and my Mom's budgeting skills. All of these things was all because of my late parents. They were my idol, my love and my forever.

They often ask me this: "What are you looking for?" and I'll always answer is -- "...to be happy."

I used to think that as a child, being rich is the main goal but I was wrong. As I mature with time and experiences from life and love. I just want to be happy and contented.

To all of those who read this; 

Let me tell you this: "Don't settle for less, don't give up. Strive harder."

I'm so young, A YUPPIE but I realize keeping strong friendships lasts than making a lot of friends.

Romantic relationship comes and goes, but the memories last. I don't like to swallow the bitter pill. Words can either make or break you. In our tongue, we have different taste buds, for us to have sweetness, we have to endure sourness, saltiness, spiciness and the bitterness. I have different taste buds for my mood. After tasting the bitter pill, I want to be able to NOT ONLY SPIT THE BITTERNESS, but I want to keep it. All I have to do is to be CALM, drink a water and taste some sugary candy to forget about the bitterness. 

I  have my pride and it is with me as a Bangsamoro woman, as a leader, a lady, a respectable member of the community. I want to reach out and keep it with me. 

THANK YOU.

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- Naya